It's not laziness....

When my children were little,rain or shine I have to get up early to get everything done.When they were of school age,all the more reason to wake up early or they'll miss their bus.But now I can afford to laze around and stay in bed because I don't have to prepare breakfast for anybody but me anymore.

That's one of the good things of being alone in the house.I can stay in bed as long as I like,cook only when I feel hungry and do chores whenever I feel like doing it.I can do household chores even late at night because I won't be disturbing anybody.

Sometimes when I don't have the mood to go out or do anything,I'll just curl in my favourite sofa with a book ,still in my nightie and nobody will see me.I can also afford not to do the laundry everyday because there's no more school uniforms to be washed.

Am I lonely?

Well,I don't feel lonely.I might be alone in the house but I never feel lonely.
Maybe it is because I don't think myself as alone.My youngest daughter asked me once,how can I stand being alone.I said to her that I am not alone.I have my family with me.But we are not with you all the time,she insisted.Oh,but you are,I said to her.You are with me all the time,in my heart.
But then I began to ponder myself,what it will be like 20 or 30 years from now?When I really am an old woman?Will I be lonely then?
A friend even asked me once the feeling of being alone.Do I feel 'out of sorts'? I said no,it's as usual only that I have to cook less,just enough for me and the dog.But she too persisted.What will you do when your back got itchy,who will scratch it for you?And I told her,'the bathroom wall'.

Single Mum?

Single Mum?Well,that's me.I had my children when I was quite young.I had my firstborn when I was only 19 and my youngest when I was 29.I'm calling myself a single mum because even though I have a husband and my children a father,he's seldom home.He gave me the money and the rest is up to me.

When they were sick,I look after them and bring them to see a doctor.When they started schooling,it's me who sent them.When there's a PTA meeting , it's me who went.When they needed disciplining,it's me who conduct them.When they needed a friend I'm the only one around.

Everyday I say a prayer for them to be good and dutiful children.I am thankful because well,they are good children,did well in their studies and they have became my friends.

Now,two of my children are already employed.The third one is in her final year at the university and the youngest will be sitting for her SPM this year.

My children are now grown and not living with me anymore.Even my youngest is staying at the school hostel.Me,I am alone most of the time because my husband,their father, is seldom home.And me, I am a single mum , aren't I?